You may see me here
But I am a ghost
I am not dead
But I am lost to myself
I have lost my self
And if I am lost to my self
Who will you miss when I am gone
My world is dark
Unbalanced
All Yin and no Yang
No flow to smooth the edges
The clothes in need of washing pile in the  hall
Dirty dishes mount in the sink
The air filters sit on the shelf gathering dust
And my old man nose hair needs trimming
Why bother
I can't get better
So why should I waste the effort
I'm in a zero sum game with no future
My heart is failing me
My muscles and bones ache
Pain is my constant companion
Guilt convicts me of my failure
And depression has claimed me
It has taken a toll
And exacted a tribute from my mind
I cannot see a way forward
So I am left to struggle alone
With the expectations of others
And though I know they mean well
And they do love me
(Even the dog)
Their love is not enough
For the way of pain is solitary
And it leads only to dust
And someday
In a more elemental form
To the vast nothingness
Of the universe
From stardust I came
And to stardust I shall return
It may take a hundred trillion years
For the galaxies to collapse
And the Earth to crumble
But then the long waiting will be over
And I, we, shall again be among the stars
Matter and energy forever in the cosmos
This is resurrection
This is rebirth
This is hope and eternal life

©2022 Kevin Fraleigh